Guide Story

This just in from guide Boone Walker aka Southern Steele:

"I took this redneck lady fishing Saturday.  She was drunk when she caught this fish."

Inflated Deathring of Hydrogenated Oils or: How I Learned to Call Them Flies

I spent a large portion of my youth with family like Terry, in Central Washington, fishing reservoirs with lures.  Lures were what you used to catch fish.  You bought lures in the same stores where you bought your beers and your infiniteconveryed fried stuffed things and your smokes and then you went and got fish.  This was good.

Except that old fishing buddies grow old and decide they want to spend money and buy fly rods. And Halsch and JLR (Justly Lording Riverslut) move to the PNW and if I wanted to spend any time at all with them I had to pretend like I hadn't quit dipping and go fly fishing.  Which I did, over and over again, with no fishy success.  This too was good.  I never stopped liking dip.

And then James took me for another round of cutthroating and I hooked one and he hooked one AT THE SAME TIME and it was beautiful and magical and there was a rainbow and it got away but it was everything I could have ever wanted and wow, just wow, pass me that fucking tin and lets do it again.

So we went east to the Yakima last weekend, following my ancestral roots in search of raucous BLM parking lot scenes and trout.

With Waka Flocka ringing in my ears and JLR (Jovial...Loving...Rebel) at the raft's helm we shoved off.  The first few hours were slow, the sun still high, and the river littered with Yakima's finest human parade.  Most flotillas were groups of 6 - 10 twentysomethings, drunk and yelling and enjoying nature; save the quartet of lovely young plus-sized women cranking cigs, with each individual tube anchored to the beer-cooler-turned-snack-pit housing every last brand of potato chip known to man.  Not a beer in sight.  As they drifted slowly past, one of them managed a garbled, "It's all about the fucking rapids." Yes indeed my dreamboat, yes indeed.

After a quick lesson in terminology, (JLR (junior league rugby) reminding me, very politely, that they're called flies, not lures), and a swap over to a dry fly, lightning struck twice and Halsch and I simultaneously had trout on. Exciting. Lost it. Whatever. We bustin' at 'em.

JLR (Jaunty Locks, Raven) had the raft cruising alongside the bank like it was on a track and finally, finally, I got into one, and managed to bring it in.  I've been knee-deep in thousands of pounds of writhing sockeye while gill-netting in Bristol Bay, but I've never experienced joy from a fish like that little rainbow.  Awesome.

Finished the float with some more serious trout action and a tiny blond thing drunk and speechless on the boat ramp.

Thanks to Halsch and JLR (JupiterLionRenegade) for the guidance and patience.

Asian Carp

I'm speechless

"As an EMT by trade, there is nothing more important to me than personal safety"

-Peoria Carp Hunters website

Allen's Does It Again

2/2/10

Allen’s coffee brandy tops state liquor list once again

By Bill TrotterBDN Staff

Allen's Coffee Flavored Brandy is a Maine staple.
AUGUSTA, Maine — State officials have released sales figures for liquor brands in Maine in 2009, and again Allen’s Coffee Flavored Brandy is overwhelmingly the state’s top seller.
The liquor’s overall sales went up despite last year’s poor economy. Last year, 1,065,108 bottles of the coffee-flavored alcohol sold in the state for $12.9 million, according to the state Bureau of Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations. Those figures represent increases of 2,177 bottles and $109,000 from Allen’s sales in the state in 2008.
The state separately tracks the sales of different bottle sizes. Allen’s 1,750 ml bottle was the most popular hard alcohol unit in Maine in 2009 with more than 350,000 bottles netting $6.3 million. Allen’s other bottles — 1 liter, 750 ml and 375 ml — ranked fourth, sixth and eighth in sales respectively. No other brand of liquor appears more than once in the top 10.
After Allen’s Coffee Flavored Brandy, other popular brands include Orloff Vodka and Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum. Of the 25 top-selling units in Maine, Orloff placed second behind Allen’s in volume, selling 277,998 total bottles in Maine last year, while Captain Morgan’s was second in value, with $5,165,036 in total sales.
State officials have said they cannot remember when Allen’s Coffee Flavored Brandy wasn’t the highest-selling liquor in Maine.

Whoa Nellie...I thought I had it in reverse

A G-rated fishing blooper video...

Salmon River ~ King Salmon (Trip 5)

After four trips to the Salmon River chasing Steelhead the crew decided that it was round about time to chase the fish that was River was dubbed after. Being armed with a new 8wt I teamed up with Keith and Clark for this adventure; we were sad that Jesse, one of the original crew. would not be able to join us on account of his departure to New Zealand. We would forge forth in his honor seeking the mighty King Salmon.

Salmon season is a shitshow, we knew this, and a lodging booking placed one month prior to the trip only scared up one available lodge, Salmon Heaven. The joint was located in Altmar in the upper region, some 100 yards from the bank of the Salmon River where the flows were as low as we had ever seen them (325 cfs.). We arrived at 11 p.m, slid into an upgraded suite above the tackle shop, and promplty walked across the street to the sketchy Altmar Hotel Bar. After a plethera of drinks and other sundries, we stumbled back into our suite around 3 am. The night would not end there, for we had salmon on the brain and there was danger in the air. Clark and I retired around 4 a.m; Keith would not slide into his bunk until just after 4:30 a.m for the smell of salmon was too much for him to bear. Alarms were set for 5, and on account of the nature of our evening we rose around 6:45. We were in pain, serious pain, the kind of pain where you could potentially sleep the day away questioning the previous evening's events. We hadn't come for such things however, and in a seriously questionable state we rose, headed for the tackle shop, and soon arrived at the Douglaston Salmon Run parking lot where a "Sold out" sign greeted us. No matter, we had purchased our passes online ahead of time and were soon waist deep in the gentle riffles of the DSR.

People were tight all around us, the banks of the Salmon River were lined with anglers even in this $30/day section of the river. A furry of excitement overtook us as we jockied for position in the various runs of the river.

Soon enough Keith had gone tight several times, and I was not long behind him. All of the fish were lost. Hangovers were taking hold, and spirits, while not defeated, had some serious chinks in the armour.

It was Clark who struck first with a Solid Hookup and he battled the fresh 15lb Salmon to the bank. The skunk was off and the Salmon were running.

As the daylight wained Keith landed his first hen of the trip, a nice 16-18lb specimen. I however went 0-5 during the majority of the day and managed to slip into a primo run some 30 mins before the sun set. As Clark gathered the fish and our belongings from the river's edge, I was tight. Keith, net in hand came to my aid and watched as the fish made quick work of me, spitting the hook on a screaming upriver run. In the next 20 minutes I hooked another 4 fish, 3 on consecutive casts in this run, and each of them threw the hook in the same fashion. At the end of day 1 Keith had gone 1-5, Clark 2-5, and I had managed an astounding 0-10. I was less than happy.(Clark's 2nd Fish)

Day two was another trek to the DSR (Douglaston Salmon Run) and I made quick work of ridding the skunk with a 22lb hen.

Keith followed this fish with one of his own, a similar sized hen. I ventured off to do some downriver scouting as the run of fish slowed. On my four or fifth cast I connected with my first Steelhead of the season; a fish that I neither measured, photgraphed, weighed, nor netted. The fish cleared out a dozen or more anglers with a 50 yard run upstream and downstream of where I played the fish. Twice I had him to my feet, but with the net upstream I realized a true landing/photo session was not in order. As I reached down for this metallic beast, the hook gentley slid from it's upper jaw and the fish returned to the river to gorge itself on Salmon eggs. No matter, I had tasted Steele for the first time in 6 months and it was sweet.

The group ventured toward the lower DSR in search of more fish. After I snagged a robust brown trout in the dorsal, Clark connected with a sweet 26lb buck salmon which I followed up with an 18lb haggard hen.

Day two ended with four Salmon on the bank totaling well over 80lbs.

After getting a quality night's rest after Day 2, the crew woke early and headed for a half day spent downstream of Trestle Pool. Clark and I were seeking a quality run below Trestle Pool that we had stumbled on with Jesse in March. Upon arriving at Trestle Pool we found roughly 40 guys lining the river, a half mile hike downstream found us alone, solitarily casting at active King Salmon above and below a sweet riffle. I struck first and second with two bucks in the 20lb class and then Clark struck next with a haggard hen in the same weight classification. We hooked and lost multiple Salmon in this part of the river in less than three hours, and spent the rest of the morning wondering why we hadn't fished it for the other two days.

These photos may have seemed to be a Clark and Wilkie montage, but Lane's photos were on another camera, and as might be expected, he handled himself like a true Salmon River scholar on the river, bringing multiple high quality fish to the bank.

The mighty King Salmon is a formidable challenger on the fly, difficult to floss, and powerful in the current, but we came to realize that it's epicness is somewhat lacking, and our hearts are glued to the drag screaming runs of the mighty Steele. We will never return for Salmon; Steele brought us to this river, and Steele will continue to be our primary targets.

More Sunday Success

A little morning drizzle then sunny skies accompanied Nando, Maclean, and myself on a drive North to the Dead on Sunday. After a brief stop to meet Wilkie, we were off and running.

Sending Shockwaves through the Farmington fashion industry.

Slow to start but a handful of fish were brought to net on buggers and a few lost on ghosts.














The Escape

Steeleing

Steeleing from Jesse L. Robbins on Vimeo. Music Credits: Adam Kurtz, www.adamkurtzmusic.com, Booker T. Jones, Leo Kottke and Senor Clapton.

Does anyone know how to fish for dinosaurs?

OK, I know the standard blog post is a recounting of a fishing adventure, but this is a pre-fishing post for a change. I'm down in Texas at the moment and faced with an unknown beast: alligator gar.

We've got to drain a pond this week that a few of these prehistoric beasts call home, and I'd love to hook into at least one before I have to figure out how to safely hand-transfer these bastards to new water. My Dad and I threw a bunch of spin lures at them today, and while I can see them on the surface they don't even take a second look at what we were hucking. They're burly looking, about 3' in length, and sound like a drowning toddler when they stir the water.

Too many how-to sites are suggesting bowfishing, and one even suggests bringing a .22, and I'm wondering if anyone on SolidHookups has experience straight up fishing for these beasts. I'm wary of landing anything that "bites aggressively in self-defense," but these guys look they'd put up a bad-ass fight. Any suggestions for how to fish them before I resort to a rifle?