Sportsman Double

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night, she looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a bit (well more than a bit), we had a snuggle, and she asked me if I ever had a "sportsman double"? "Whats that?" I asked. "It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said. "Oh," I said as my mind began to embrace the idea. "No, I haven't." And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like. We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'. I went back to her place and walked in hoping for the best night of my life. She puts on the hall light and shouted upstairs, "Mom, you still awake?"

Reasons For NOT Fishing Mid-Week

So I have tomorrow off. First order of business after discovering this was to text/call every able bodied master of the fly within striking distance for a session on the Upper Magalloway. Got a few interesting excuses/reasons for NOT being able to attend.....

Jasper: "Wilkie, man, I'd love to but I'm setting up for ZZ Top and Skynard tomorrow in Bangor....can I take a rain check?"

Billy: "Aww man I'd be there for sure but I'm wrangling Steers in Cali this week and won't be back in Maine for a few more days; I'll give you a ring when I get back in town"

Not sure that I'll receive such phenomenal excuses ever again....

Rolling solo in the A.M

A husband and wife came in for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a detailed, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays but on Fridays, I fish."

let's not do this this winter

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Whoa Nellie...I thought I had it in reverse

A G-rated fishing blooper video...

In an effort to not forget this and also provide for our esteemed readers...

So there's this farmer, asleep in bed with his wife, in the middle of the country, in the middle of the night, like 3 in the morning. There's a knock at the door and the farmer wakes up, startled, goes downstairs and opens the door to find a stranger there.

"Sorry to bother you sir, but could you help me out? I really need some help. I need a push."

The tired farmer looks at his watch and says, "Oh man, it's three in the morning, I can't help you right now. Tomorrow I can help you, sorry." Then he closes the door, goes back upstairs and get in bed.

His wife then says, "You need to go back down there and help that man! He could seriously need your help! Go and help him!"

The farmer gets back up, goes downstairs, opens the door and there's no one there. He calls into the darkness, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Yea, I'm here!"

"Do you still need help?"

"Yea, I need a push!"

"Well where are ya?!"

"Over here, on the swing!"