I work for a company that has many vehicles on the road each day delivering beer to our customers.
Thousands of miles of central and northern Maine are covered to assure people have the life blood they need. I have no idea what happened to this guy but I assume he met the business end of an International. He ended up on my desk.
Step one : wait for your wife to leave, as she hates birds, any bird, anytime. Hates them.
Step two : pluck the best feathers for soft hackles, think back to your open water memories of big fish and small nymphs.
Step three : Wash those feathers you heathen. Dawn soap, hot water and one cap of bleach.
Step four : Toss those wet feathers in the microwave for the same amount of time as a moist pop tart. This step hopefully kills any micro organisms living on this ditch chicken.
Step five : gently blow dry in a paper bag or pillowcase.
Step six : bag dry feathers with a half a moth ball ( you do not want to be the only guy at Bates with the avian bird flu ) Protect yourself at all times.
Step seven : Prep your HMH vise with the midge jaws and a Rapid River approved barbless size 14
Step eight : wrap hook with back thread and use one piece of flash to segment body. Add a spike of ice dubbing and then prep your feather. Strip the barbules off one side of the feather and trim the tie in point to allow a better hold.
Step nine : wrap feather and whip finish. Make many, different sizes and colors.